


Sorry I took so long

by evaderstrider



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Couch Cuddles, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Nerdiness, Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-04 15:38:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1784335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evaderstrider/pseuds/evaderstrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave has fallen head over heels for the nerdy boy that moved in across the hall, John Egbert, is long-term best friend that made a move from Washington to Texas. </p>
<p>Lemme shine some light on these guys' living arrangements.<br/>Dave lives with his 2 older brothers, Dirk and Bro, they love to pick on Dave about things.<br/>John lives with his single Dad and his sister, Jane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lovestruck and planning.

You are DAVE STRIDER and you are sooo in fucking love. You've got it BAD.

You're laying in bed thinking about the kid that just moved into the apartment across the hall from you, John Egbert. Did you just shiver about THINKING his name? Wow, dude. You physically. shivered. from thinking about his fucking name. What a nerd, you're perfect for eachother.

You would love to waltz over there and sweep him off his feet like in one of Dirk's weird ass animes that you will never admit you enjoy a bit. Speaking of your youngest elder brother he's leaning in your doorway.

"Dave what are you doing?" as always his tone is flat and, if anything else, monotonous. He's around robots and the emotionally challenged too much.

"Finding the Chamber of Secrets, what are you doing?" You love your sarcasm it keeps you alive, ironically you know you're pr'olly going to get shot for it one day.

Dirk rolled his eyes, you knew him so well it didn't matter that you couldn't see his eyes.  
"What secrets are you looking for? How to woo a certain Egbert?" Dirk's smirk was practically audible.

At that you sit up and stare at him, bad move you lost your cool, fuck. 

"What do you mean by that?" you inquire shakily, you should really get control of those unironic outbursts, though. 

"I mean you aren't good at hiding how in looove you are, little bro~" that was the most emotion you have ever heard Dirk place in words.

"I'm not in love! I just...really like him..." you pout, Dirk walks in and sits beside you. 

"Dave, you should invite him over-"

"But what about Bro?" 

"I'll make sure he's out when John's over, don't worry I got'cha." What was up with all this emotion Dirk was displaying it's so weird.  
You smile, just a little, a little!

"Thanks, man." for a fleeting moment you're filled with hope, "but...what do I even say?"

"Oh hey wanna come over we have applejuice and you can try on my dorky shades and maybe we can see who can bite harder and see where that goes, maybe you'll end up in my shirt." Dirk mocked your tone and swapped your shades as he impersonated you. 

"Yo don't diss my shades." You swap your sunglasses back. Dirk smiles a bit at you.

"So when should I schedule for mine and Bro's disappearance?"

"Tomorrow?" 

"Short notice you better not chicken out- Hey Bro!" he ruffled your hair before calling to your eldest brother as running off.


	2. Moving in.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ===> You are the JOHN EGBERT...what will you do?
> 
> Call Dave  
> Call Dave  
> Receive call FROM Dave  
> >Ponder why there is a cat in your room....  
> CALL DAVID.

You are JOHN EGBERT.  
  
You are just now moving boxes into your room- which there is a cat currently perched atop a tall stack of boxes.....  
  
Where did this little critter come from? You know for sure that your father hasn't purchased a cat...he hates them, they get fur in his disgustingly sweet cakes.  
  
You stare at the cat with soft blue eyes as the box of Nic Cage movies in your arms is placed on the floor beside your bed. Which still needs to be set up, by the way, it's propped against the white walls of your soon-to-be room.  
  
You slowly approach the feline intruder, you always wanted a cat, they were soft and liked to lick your nose when you held them, really you thought cats were the best. They cleaned themselves, they weren't too demanding...  
  
"Hey little guy..." you spoke softly as to not frighten the poor creature, how the hell did it get into your room, anyways?  
"How'd you get in here...?"  
  
Reaching a hand out to pet the blue-ish tabby cat's seemingly white-paint splashed fur-(There wasn't paint on the cat, it's fur just appeared to have been splashed with white paint, white on steely-blue-grey, this cat was beautiful.)-you smile as it nuzzles your hand.  
The cat is kinda small with bright eyes and sleek fur.  
  
"You're a little scrawny but you're healthy...I'm gonna call you...." you ponder a name as picking up the healthy cat- of course after checking for fleas and such...  
  
"Heir, you know, like, 'Heir to the Throne', do you like that name? Heir?" a dorky grin spreads across your face and you chuckle as the cat licks your nose. "I'm gonna assume that's a yes, haha!" "

_"Who ya' gonna call?- GHOST BUSTERS!"_

You hear your phone go off- someone must be trying to contact you. Answer it? NO?...  
  
Tough nuggets you are answering your cellular device, deal with it.  
  
You reach a hand into your pocket, supporting the cat, who crawls up onto your shoulders, with the other hand.  
It's Dave! (and you didn't want to respond, this is a JohnDave fanfic, who else was it going to be?)  
  
-turntechGodhead[TG] began pestering ectoBiologist[EB]-  
TG: john  
TG; egdork  
TG: yo egbutt  
TG: eggsbenedict  
TG: johnny boi  
TG: egderp  
TG: answer you little shit i gotta talk to you man  
EB: what the nut dude?!  
TG: its called pesterchum and im pestering my chum right now  
EB: Yeah i know but isnt this a little excessive??  
TG: john i dont care  
EB: :( Dave thats not nice, what if I was, like, hiding from someone and they heard my phone going off every 2 second?  
TG: . . . .  
TG: please dont be that dumbass in movies who has his phone on full fucking blast while hiding thats just stupid man  
EB: //siiiigh  
EB: What do you want? :B  
TG: just to talk  
TG: hows the move going  
EB: extremelyyyyyy sloooowwww  
EB: i found a cat though!!  
TG: coo-...you FOUND a CAT??  
EB: yeah!! it was just hanging out in my room when I came up :)  
TG: dude are you not at all concerned with the fact there was just some random ass cat in your room what if it has some foreign disease or someshit?  
EB: Well....no not really :B  
EB: I mean  
EB: aside from being a little scrawny there's nothing wrong with it that i can see soooo  
TG: whatever man its your funeral  
EB: I am not going to die dave ._.  
EB: I named it heir :B  
TG: i thought youd name it nic cage tbh  
EB: >:T  
TG: nerd  
EB: BYE DAVE  
EB: *whoops caps lock  
-ectoBiologist[EB] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead[TG]-

You sigh and look at the cat now draped over your left shoulder.  
  
  
"He's a handful-" you scratch behind Heir's ears and he starts to purr...you assume it's a he. You contiunie to walk about your room, setting little things up here and there, nothing big...like the bed you are supposed to sleep on tonight...  
  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
JOHN: ===> Be one of the other males...  
  
DAD EGBERT  
BRO STRIDER  
DIRK STRIDER  
DAVE STRIDER  
>HEIR the CAT  
  
You are now HEIR the CAT...why did you choose to be HEIR? You are legitimately just sitting on the human boy's shoulders....it is actually quite enjoyable, your paws were sore from walking around so much.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
HEIR the CAT: ===> Be one of the HUMAN males...  
  
>DAD EGBERT  
BRO STRIDER  
DIRK STRIDER  
DAVE STRIDER  
JOHN STRI-i mean-EGBERT......  
  
After much mulling-over and contemplation, really, you though too hard on this rigged decision, you are now DAD EGBERT in the kitchen. When weren't you in the kitchen? It was truly a mystery where else you would want to go...you love kitchens, they were warm and when you were in them they smelled nice...  
ANYWHORE- You stand in your kitchen, baking a cake of course, but it was for your neighbors upstairs, though the apartment complex housed many, many people, the only ones you have had the pleasure of meeting were the upstairs tenants...  
Struddels?....Stri....Strippers?....Riders??....You were shit at remembering names...plus you were slightly distracted by the, seemingly, oldest of the three upstairs neighbors....Ooo la la- NOPE. Cake time. Time for cake. You continued to bake your pastry, trying not to allow the faint tint and heat in and on your cheeks to bother you.  
Something about that man...You have no idea what but you found it...you don't know the word but you liked it. . . . a lot.  
  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - -  
  
  
DAD: ===> Be one of the Stri-Stru-Stripper-.....(Dude, the name is STRIDER.) yeha...be one of those.  
  
>DIRK STRIDER  
BRO STRIDER  
DAVE STRIDER  
  
\--You cannot be DIRK STRIDER try again.  
  
 ~~DIRK STRIDER~~  
>BRO STRIDER  
DAVE STRIDER  
  
\--you cannot be BRO STRIDER try again.  
  
 ~~DIRK STRIDER~~  
 ~~BRO STRIDER~~  
>DAVE STRIDER  
  
\--You cannot be DAVE STRIDER try again.  
  
Hmmm....well who the fuck CAN you be??  
OH! I know!!  
  
????: ===> Be the NEGLECTED FEMALE CHARACTER.  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
  
You are now the NEGLECTED FEMALE CHARACTER- Also known as, JANE CROCKER. (Who, in this, is John's sister, shush and blame fanfiction logic.)  
You are in the middle of heaving a large box of your rooms downed decorations...lots of Crocker Corp. merch in that box...  
Setting the box on your bed-which due to your better set of priorities you had set up so you have somewhere to sleep tonight, go you, thinkin' ahead-your phone goes off and the Pesterchum icon pops up on the lockscreen.

Curiosity nags at you to open the pesterlog...which you do...

Darn...just a bunch of spam from crockercorpUpdate[CU], you should really block them.  
  
You close your phone again and can hear your younger brother shuffling around his most likely messy room. You sigh...something loud grabs your attention and you rush over to John's room...  
Frowning as you survey themess, you realize it was only his bedframe that had fallen, John was fine and staring out his room's window. Had he not noticed the bed frame falling??-...was there a cat on his shoulder? Where the fuck...how even...Okay...Okay, whatever.  
You walk up behind him and lightly tap his shoulder.  
  
"John?" 

Instead of turning his whole body like a normal human to face you, he sits up and cranes his neck aaaaaall the way back, bending slightly backwards, his head was upside down so he was looking down at you, technically.  
  
"Yeeees, Jane?" his bucked teeth show in his dorky grin...  
  
You are unamused and push down on his chst, causing him to topple onto the floor, the cat had jumped onto the windowsill long before this, don't worry. You kneel beside your brother who had sat up and was now rubbing his head.  
  
"Owwwww....What?"  
  
"What's up with you? Why were you daydreaming? Did you even notice that your bed frame got knocked over??"  
  
He blinks and looks at the fallen bed frame past your shoulder.  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"So you didn't notice?"  
  
"Nope..."  
  
"why?"  
  
"I was thinkin'..."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Who." he corrected.  
  
You blink. "Okay, WHO were you thinking about...?"


End file.
